|
[Thursday
January 12th, 2006 @ 4:50pm] |
|
i dont even have anything to say. i cant stand this place, the people, or my parents. and i have no true friends anymore. and the true friends i do have either im not allowed to see or they have someone they would rather see than me. Punishing me for something that stupid doesnt make me never want to do it again. it makes me wish i was 18 so i can get out of the house and i wont have to listen to them anymore. and i know thats exactly what they arwe trying to get me not to do. well they can blame themselves when the time comes. im not 13 anymore.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
November 9th, 2005 @ 9:53pm] |
|
me and amanduhhh are having a sleepoverrrrr. :D
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
November 8th, 2005 @ 8:50pm] |
well this weekend was pretty crazy. me and lexy went to dc sunday and missed our exit and ended up driving through dc at night which was intense. so we got to zoe's like 2 hours late and had a disney party! haha a literaly disney party with like 15 people. me beth anne dan and lexy looked at the stars too. plus at one point during the night we had like 6 people on one couch when no one was on the other. but then me zoe and lexy went to george town and my mom gave me her credit card and i went to so many sweet stores but i got nothing. i dont even know why. it sucked. and i didnt find my ring dance dress but im going to see melissa for thanksgiving so ill get one there. i dont even know if i have a ring dance date anymore.
BOBBY ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
November 5th, 2005 @ 10:25pm] |
me and lexy are going to Leesburg / DC tomorrow!!!
sshhhhhhhhhhhweeeet.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
November 3rd, 2005 @ 10:29pm] |
why do i always make myself feel like shit. I get frustrated and upset. I don't even have a reason to be upset. well i do but i dont. I shouldnt care but i do. And im not jealous. Just pissed. maybe im just selfish. no i know i am.
and now im not going to leesburg and im stressed out about school and im pmsing like a bitch.
i wish i could just cry and everything be okay.
somethings i think somethings seriously wrong with me.
I need help.
[edit]i finally figured out the reason for this.
i want someone to feel what i feel.
and no one ever will.
i've convinced myself that i can't get over you
and now I honestly can't and i don't know if i ever will.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
November 1st, 2005 @ 11:01pm] |
so im supposed to be going to leesburg this weekend with bobby to see zoee buttttt bobby isnt telling his parents so yeah he'll probably bail out on me at the last minute. road trip anyone? I will get up there some how. i have to get a ring dance dress soon and not around here. well i cut my hair last night. really super short. ill put pictures on here later because photo bucket isnt working right now.
last night we put cream of mushroom soup and chunky chili on donna and billys door but lexy got us caught and danielle stole mandes keys so we had to clean it up because billy was whining. haha. it was well worth it though. i miss going over there.
things are kind of getting back to normal now. i guess. well no. actually i dont know. im just confused and lonely but content with being alone. i dont know what i want and i dont like pressure.
my plan of waiting things out is failing miserably. its just making it harder for things to be comfortable. well actually im not waiting it out at all. im too impatient and rediculous for this. im stupid and way strongerthan i make myself out to be. and i should respect myself way more than i do. i guess i just like a challenge. No. I need a challenge. and youre too good at making this challenging. or impossible?
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 30th, 2005 @ 6:51pm] |
|
So today I was hungry so i went in my fridge and i found "taco meat" so i made a taco with like all the good stuff. And i was really looking forward to eating my taco. So after i done making it i sit down to eat and i bite into it and its SLOPPY JOE MEAT. i was appalled. yuck yuck yuck yuck. seriously.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 30th, 2005 @ 10:47am] |
who wants to hang out on halloween?
Whats there to do?!?
|
|
|
|
[Saturday
October 29th, 2005 @ 10:20pm] |
|
i always put an entry in here when im in a really good mood or really bad mood. and as you can tell im more in a bad mood than i am in a good mood. Im honestly, hopelessly falling apart. School stresses me out. My friends obviously dont care about me. except one. but she lives 4 hours away. There's nothing i can think of right now that makes me happy. I like hanging out with people. but that only makes me happy for the moment. I dont have that feeling that theres that one person or two people that would do anything for me. ditch anyone for me. love me more than anyone. I used to have that. I had it for a long time. and now that i dont have it anymore I feel worthless. And the people that mean the world to me dont give a shit. i try to act like i dont give a shit. i can put on a good act. but theres no way i would never stop caring. ever. and then i break down. I never want to get to the point where i was last year. And im slowly getting there. I wish i was strong. but im the weakest person i know.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
October 25th, 2005 @ 8:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my ruca (sublime) |
] |
++THURSDAY-HUNT CLUB
++FRIDAY-HOUSE SHOW!!!
(Hopefully with Amanda)
++I will be 17 in a month!! haha
++TWO WEEKS UNTIL ROADTRIP WITH BOBBY!!
++TWO WEEKS UNTIL I SEE ZOEE!!!!
++TWO WEEKS UNTIL I GO TO DC!!
++TWO WEEKS UNTIL I GET TO GO RING DANCE SHOPPING!!
I dont know about this weather. I like winter but i hate being freezing?
but one thing i do know....this song is the shitttttttt.
anyone wanna go to the pumpkin patch and get pumpkins to carve with me?
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 23rd, 2005 @ 10:42pm] |
IN TWO WEEKS!
Me and bobby are making a road trip to leesburg!!!
I cant wait. no really, i cant wait.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 23rd, 2005 @ 9:37pm] |
this weekend was pretty good.
yeah it was pretty good.
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
October 20th, 2005 @ 11:23pm] |
i just fucking want to be happy again.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
In creative writing i had to so an assignment and i wrote exactly how i feel and i had to read it out loud to the class and i read it and they all just looked at me and my teacher asked me if i needed to go to guidance.
That isnt fucking normal.
And nothing is changing.
I'm happy for a few days then i start thinking and something little goes wrong and i break down.
I just want everything to go back to normal.
I need to start over.
I need to get the hell out of here.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
October 17th, 2005 @ 10:59pm] |
my sister is coming in town wednesday!!
and we are going out to eat on thursday me and her.
then friday im leaving school early to go to nc for the day with her.
sweet :)
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 16th, 2005 @ 5:27pm] |
i loveee this weather.
I love my friends.
I love and miss Zoe.
I love life.
I love youuuuuuu.
<3
|
|
|
|
[Thursday
October 13th, 2005 @ 5:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 rejected |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
regina spektor |
] |
why is it that everytime i get depressed everything turns into me thinking of you.
i cant figure out what it is that i like about you.
you have never done anything for me.
i would do anything for you.
and thats why this fucking sucks so much.
i wouldnt take anything back even though this kills me
i have no reason to like you
but i cant fucking get you out of my head.
|
|
|
|
[Wednesday
October 12th, 2005 @ 9:01pm] |
me bobby and mande are going on a road trip!!!!!
sweet life.
|
|
|
|
[Tuesday
October 11th, 2005 @ 9:03pm] |
Its just not the same anymore. its so different now. It's not that i hate it. Im just not used to it yet. I have hung out with a lot of new people lately. I mean i like hangnig out with them but I miss having my really close friends. I miss knowing i will always have them there. And i know i still have them. Im just so used to hanging out with them every single day. Its like i cant have fun without them. Its like something is missing. Its just so weird.
and i wish i could find a good guy. I look in all the wrong places. and its not just that they arent just my type. I like them for completely the wrong reason. And i think that maybe i can change things but i cant and ive realized that. But im sure i would do it all again if it really came down to it. And im just being honest. And that sucks so know youre doing it all wrong but admitting that you would still do it all wrong again. I guess its just a fix for the moment. but basically its tearing me apart. i guess its better than being lonely.
|
|
|
|
[Monday
October 10th, 2005 @ 10:17pm] |
|
i miss the three of us. I miss being happy.
|
|
|
|
[Sunday
October 9th, 2005 @ 7:05pm] |
|
sometimes i feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone.. and then you assure me of it.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
agnstallodds's journal